catch-22

what if the thing that causes problems is the one thing that absolutely cannot be changed? i've been sidelined for the past 4 days with a neck injury. apparently i'm so stressed out by the family situation that not only do i have a major heartburn, but my muscles are so tense that now i can't even turn my head. popping muscle relaxers only barely makes a dent, so i've been in bed for 72+ hours with a heating pad perched on my shoulder like a parrot. the nurse lady recommended a massage and trying to figure out a way to relax within this situation. i couldn't even come clean to my family about the reason behind the injury. how do you tell the people who need you the most that they are the reason for your pain? apparently i'm the only one that doesn't realize how stressed out i am. s and l sent me the most beautiful necklace, one i had been eyeing for a long time but couldn't convince myself to buy. and i almost dissolved into a puddle of tears out of a mix of joy and despair. i'm always amazed by the people who love me; they recognize things that i cannot see, and try to alleviate my problems in ways that remind me why they're my friends. it's heartwarming and sweet and even though i'm a mess (although i always assumed i presented a strong front) they love me and care about me. so now i'm going to try and relax before heading back to the house tomorrow. and i'll have my tagamet and heating pad in tow.