petty little things

i'm letting a lot of things get to me, when i know they shouldn't. stupid, little things that are really meaningless and staying with me and ruining my day. i finally figured out why that is, and once i did it was even more upsetting. my birthday is tomorrow, and this is my last one with my mom. we did some celebrating today, and even though i've never been big on birthdays, this one is so much harder. i just can't seem to pull myself out of this, although i can fool myself pretty well into thinking that i've got it under control. i stupidly thought it wouldn't be a big deal, and that i would be happy to have it with her; instead, i'm just breaking down. maybe tomorrow will be better, easier to deal with since we started celebrating today. it's just one more difficult thing to deal with in a long line of difficult things.