i want another vacation

school starts tomorrow. it's only 2 days a week, but i'm not ready. really really really not in the mood to feel out of place on campus, in the classroom, and away from my family. D and i discussed the last time we felt as though we belonged somewhere-for him it was college, for me it wasn't really ever. i've always felt too young and in the minority because i focused more on academics than anything else, always. and i don't feel as though i was relaxed on vacation, and i want another few days just to get away. i think about stealing a weekend in nyc, or a trip to boston, or anywhere just to get away, but it's not possible. i might just be tired and stressed, and there's a lot going on right now with school, tennis, the family, friends, holidays, etc. but i just keep thinking of some sort of escape where i don't have to think about anything on more than a superficial level, to be preoccupied with a museum exhibit or what i'm going to order from a restaurant or just walking around with no destination in mind. and it seems lovely even though it's not going to happen. but a girl can dream.