atlas

i'm feeling a lot of responsiblity right now; there isn't a safety net for me anymore since A went back to NYC for a break. so many questions to make sure i ask the doctors, so many phone numbers to gather together in case a scenario c happens, little things that i know i need to get or buy or do before i go on vacation in 2 weeks.

it will be my first trip away from dc since february, and they'll be fine without me; it's me that i'm not sure i'll be able to let go so easily. it's only 8 days, but mom's 2nd infusion will happen while i'm gone, and i hate that i have to miss it. i like to think that i'm a comforting presence, and i don't want her to be scared like last time. but it will be really nice to have a break, although i'll still be worried of sinking like the titanic and my floaties won't keep me above water for long enough to be rescued while the ship breaks in half.

and i need to clean my apt before i go, which is the most daunting task of all.