disbelief

everyone experiences illness differently. i don't always agree with the ways that other people handle the situation, and i'm having a hard time not keeping my mouth shut. my outlook is that i want to put my mother first when i'm visiting. if my mom calls for me, i go to her as fast as i can. i put aside whatever i was doing or watching or anything, and see what she wants. ususally, she just wants my company, which is fine with me. my father seems to treat any time with my mother as a chore. he huffs and sighs loudly and makes side comments about how he's always being interrupted. frankly, i don't need to hear it. i spent about 6 hours with my mother yesterday, hanging out and playing cards and doing speech therapy, and i think he spent a total of about 20 minutes with her the entire time i was at the house. she's his WIFE. it was more important for him to get his study in order and the papers filed than spend time with her. the organization apparently took 2-3 days, and could not be done after my mom was asleep at night. and the problem is that my mother can read every facial expression and hears ever intonation in his speech when he's frustrated or annoyed. she's been saying to me that she misses my father and wants him to spend time with her. he cleaned the kitchen while A and i were out on errands today, rather than spending that time with her. the kitchen could have been cleaned at another time. i just don't get it. i pointed out to him that he had undisclosed anger issues (due to several other incidents that happened today), and he didn't agree. i just don't know what to do anymore. it seems like most of the problems and frustrations that i've experienced lately are due to him, rather than my mom, and it makes me angry. he has so much patience with other people, and is so nice to people who do not deserve the time he spends with them, and yet has such limited time and understanding for my mother. i realize he's working through a lot of things, but i'm just sick of it. we're dealing with moths, and he's wasting time. we're having family therapy with a rabbi on friday who is supposed to deal with family tension during end-of-life traumas. hopefully this will be sorted out a little better than it is now, because there's no way we can continue on like this.